More Chuck Norris Facts

My previous list of top Chuck Norris facts was a surprise hit.  Here are a few more of my favorites, from Comrad Ivan Red’s myspace blog:

Don’t bring a knife to a gunfight. And don’t bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.

  1. Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
  2. Chuck Norris doesn’t shower—he only takes blood baths.
  3. It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
  4. Chuck Norris won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a 7 of spades and a green UNO card. Continue reading More Chuck Norris Facts

Eavesdropping on the Astral Plane

A conversation recorded by Terry Bisson:

“They’re made out of meat.”

“Meat?”

“Meat. They’re made out of meat.”

“That’s impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?”

“They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don’t come from them. The signals come from machines.”

“So who made the machines? That’s who we want to contact.”

“They made the machines. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Meat made the machines.”
Continue reading Eavesdropping on the Astral Plane

Farting to Enlightenment

Su Dongpo occupied a government post on the northern shore of the Yangtze River. Across the river at Jinshan Temple lived the Chan master Foyin.

Calligraphy by Su Dongpo

One day, Su Dongpo, feeling proud of his accomplishments in meditative practice, wrote a poem and dispatched it to Foyin for approval:

I bow my head to the heaven within heaven
Whose light illuminates the universe
The eight winds cannot move me
Sitting still upon the golden purple lotus

When Foyin received the poem, he read it, wrote a single word in reply, and sent it back. Continue reading Farting to Enlightenment

“Kung Fu Jesus” Movie Trailer

Kung Fu Jesus

“God is my master”

TrailerVision Pictures presents the martial arts classic: Kung Fu Jesus.

For years, vicious gangster bosses ran the underworld, but a new fighter has come to town.  He’s taking over the streets, with a new style of kung fu known as Swing Lo.

When Jesus is framed for selling drugs, he must fight to prove his innocence. Continue reading “Kung Fu Jesus” Movie Trailer

The Three Craziest People I Met in Aikido Class

Martial arts is one of those rare arenas where people show their true personality, without disguise or pretense. Unfortunately, some of these people are real nut jobs!

Here are three short stories of artifice and cowardice, taken from my experience in the gentle art of Aikido. Continue reading The Three Craziest People I Met in Aikido Class

The Best Kung Fu Movies: Kung Fu in Daily Life

Napping kung fu

These three movies examine the relevance of martial arts to everyday life. Even though they are all comedies, they may change your perspective on the value and meaning of kung fu.

Shaolin Soccer [IMDB]
Stephen Chow’s classic film shows the secret applications of Shaolin wushu: baking, tree trimming, and parallel parking.
Continue reading The Best Kung Fu Movies: Kung Fu in Daily Life