How do you think Google established their complete dominance of Web search? Superior engineering? Nope. Shrewd business strategy? Guess again. They have a secret weapon…
Chuck Norris built Google’s first data center from a roll of barbed wire, a pallet of lumber, and a side of raw beef. The barbed wire was just for snacking.
A recent Google Health survey has identified the three most common medical diagnoses in the United States: Chuck Norris’ Right Leg, Chuck Norris’ Left Leg, and Other.
Google is reportedly experimenting with alternative energy sources. Their most promising so far: a treadmill, next to a life-size photo of Chuck Norris.
Gmail catches 99% of all email spam—by filtering POP3 Internet traffic through Chuck Norris’ beard clippings.
Chuck prepares for his next mission
Chuck Norris invented the Map-Reduce algorithm, when he single-handedly eliminated the Soviet Union, East Germany and North Vietnam.
Supplemental results were introduced to keep Chuck Norris from dominating every search query. They were eliminated after proving completely ineffective.
Why has Google’s stock price climbed from $85 to over $700? In a futile attempt to escape Chuck Norris’ earthly clutches.
* Despite all this, Google still cannot find Chuck Norris.
Please feel free to share your own Chuck Norris Google facts below.
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7 responses so far ↓
1 Chris // May 21, 2008
“Mr. Matt Cutts” is an anagram of “Chuck Norris”. Trust me on this one.
2 Roger Chubbykins III // Jun 22, 2008
I want to eat C.N. he looks like an antelope and smells like a hippos nostrils expunged snot on him.
3 Allen IVVXIII // Jul 16, 2008
I agree with Chubbykins III
4 Allen IVVXIII // Jul 16, 2008
but really im kidding because I know that chuck norris is the reason waldo is hiding, and I dont want to go into hiding.
5 gamer12144 // Sep 24, 2008
CHUCK NORRIS HAS BEEN DEAD FOR SEVEN YEARS………………DEATH IS JUST TOO AFRAID TO TELL HIM.
6 Chuck Norris // Oct 14, 2008
i am awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-sincerly Chuck Norris
7 Adam // Oct 29, 2008
GOOGLE will not index a single WEB unless Chuck Norris let it happen.
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