Totally Nude Tai Chi: A DVD Review With Pictures

Can the fire of man breathe within the waters of woman? Only if she allows. From Eden’s Gate, through Taoist teachings, through sexual revolutions and on into time eternal, women have been, are, and always will be the masters of ultimate sexuality.

Totally Nude Tai Chi is the most comprehensive, and most bizarre martial arts instructional video I have ever reviewed. Five naked female models demonstrate Tai Chi theory, the solo hand form, sword and saber practice, circle walking and palm changes, push hands and fighting applications, all within one hour.

For over 1500 years, philosophies, teachings and rituals of the Chinese monks of Shaolin have been passed from generation to generation. Encompassing the wisdom and exercises of the ancient ways, Taoism, Confucianism and Buddhism, the monks created Tai Chi.

Without loose silk uniforms to obscure the models’ postures and movements, each demonstration is relatively clear and easy to follow. Unfortunately, the postures are unbalanced and the movements are clumsy. Nevertheless, I must give the models credit for their willingness to share so openly.

Mythical. Mystical. Ethereal. The Dragon exemplifies spiritual development and internal strength.

This DVD begins with short performances by the Five Animals of “Ching Chi Tai Chi”: Tiger, Dragon, Leopard, Snake and Crane. The animals scratch themselves, bend over and roll around on the floor—all of which I must assume are groundfighting warm-ups.

It is said: you cannot move until you learn first how to stand. Wu Chi, absolute stillness: external concentration. Tan tien, the sea of chi: internal concentration. Focus on breath. Mobilize the chi.

After practicing the standing meditation for what must have seemed an eternity—thirty seconds or so—the models’ arms begin to shake, and they shuffle their feet before transitioning into the famous Ba Duan Jin, or Eight Naked Brocades exercise.

Tui shou, sensing hands, the physical expression of yin and yang. The push: yang energy, aggressive. The yield, yin energy: neutralizing, and yet complementing the yang.

Gigi (Dragon Master) and Claudine (Crane Master) perform a distressingly common variation on the tui shou theme: pushing hands by wobbling around. Their preferred yielding method, however, is unusual: incoming force is dissolved with a comely swaying of the hips.

Tiger, Lepoard, and Dragon all walk the Pa Kua. Palms touch air. Chi is shared. Ching is realized. Maintaining the chi while moving requires utmost concentration. The single palm change transfers energy from one side of the body to the other, bringing the Ching Chi into perfect balance. No action is taken, so much as it just happens.

Ching Chi Tai Chi includes elements of Pa Kua Chang training—circle walking and palm change drills—leading some to speculate that Ching Chi is Sun Lutang’s original art. Sun Lutang is commonly believed to have practiced with his clothes on, but like so many other elements of Chinese martial arts, the historical truth is shrouded in mystery. This much is certain: Tai Chi is internal, but pants are external.

Blades touch to understand, not to oppose. Blades touch to blend essences, not to confront them.

The ultimate test of any martial art is, I am told, its effectiveness on the mean urban streets. Frankly, I have doubts that these nude Tai Chi weapon disarms can be performed under the stress of mortal combat. Readers, what do you think?

Yang: the male energy. Confused by what it senses, yet does not understand. Tense and defensive, it cannot escape.

In conclusion, this is not the worst nude Tai Chi I have seen, nor is it the best. I cannot honestly recommend the Totally Nude Tai Chi DVD for instructional purposes, but it may provide experienced practitioners with a few brief moments of enjoyment.