Inside Every Martial Artist is a Dangerous Criminal

Did you really think we want those laws observed? We want them to be broken…We’re after power and we mean it.

Martial artist: are you an inherent threat to decency, morality, and public safety? No?

We, your elected government, say yes.

Make no mistake, martial artist: your avocation violates several contracts, agreements and laws. Never mind the combative trivia of kicks, punches and takedowns; how will you defend yourself against us, the shameless political opportunists who would punish you for your crimes?

Before we allow you to speak in your own defense, let’s review a summary of the charges against you.

You Have Violated Our Terms of Service

We know you have signed at least one agreement with an Internet Service Provider, web host, or video sharing service. Apparently, you didn’t read them carefully; if you had, you would have noticed the explicit prohibition against the use of the service for transmission of violent words and images. For example, look at YouTube’s current community guidelines:

Graphic or gratuitous violence is not allowed. If your video shows someone getting hurt, attacked, or humiliated, don’t post it.

To be honest, this does not mean that your martial arts content is unwelcome on YouTube, or on the website; our real policy is obviously “don’t ask, don’t tell”. But someone did ask, so we were forced to remove your material. Pray we decline to follow up on your account termination with a civil suit for breach of contract.

There’s no way to rule innocent men. The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren’t enough criminals one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws.

You Are Not Licensed to Kill

You eschewed the modern commercial training hall in favor of a traditional, intimate gathering of disciples. Respectable, but no matter. The fact that you do not advertise your teaching services to the public does not exempt you from business licensing laws.

Since tuition money is changing hands, you should have retained professional advice on the licensing requirements in your locality. We couldn’t nail Al Capone with murder, but our tax evasion rap sent him to federal prison. Maybe you’d like to see his cell from the inside?

You May Already Be a Domestic Terrorist

Your small-time tax evasion is insignificant, compared to the severe penalties we may assess you as a suspected terrorist in post 9-11 America. You should know: our suspects are routinely shipped to foreign prisons, detained secretly and indefinitely, sometimes even tortured or otherwise coerced to confess.

You didn’t need to go shopping for a dirty bomb to become the target of our terrorism investigation. Attending a peaceful protest was enough to draw our suspicion—as was your membership in a group now deemed a threat to our homeland.  Like the Butokukai after WWII, your organization must be liquidated.

Wipe that smirk off your face, martial artist. The prospect of domestic terrorism sentencing is not as far-fetched as it may sound. The fact that your activities are “dangerous to human life” and “intended to intimidate or coerce” may in itself be enough to secure a conviction, under USC Title 18 Section 2331—if not, it is sufficient to justify covert surveillance for the remainder of your menacing life.

Who wants a nation of law-abiding citizens? What’s there in that for anyone? But just pass the kind of laws that can neither be observed nor enforced or objectively interpreted – and you create a nation of law-breakers – and then you cash in. [–Atlas Shrugged]

Martial artist: we know about your sword, saber and pole; we call it a weapons stockpile. We’ve read about your use of herbal liniments, and passing references to bio-energy; we say you’re practicing quack medicine. And although your spiritual beliefs are technically protected by the Bill of Rights, they nevertheless appear to us a fatalistic religious cult—a fact that, the jury agrees, strengthens our case against you.

How do you respond to these serious allegations, martial artist?

20 comments on “Inside Every Martial Artist is a Dangerous Criminal”

  1. I’m glad to see others are waking up to the creeping authoritarianism. When I posted about “High Crimes” earlier this week, either people were offended or too scared to leave comments.
    Your post is excellent and unfortunately prophetic.

  2. I haven’t been to the States in a while. And I’m cautious about drawing conclusions from what I see on CNN and read on the Internet, like this post.

    So is it really this bad in the States now? Is this level of paranoia justified?

  3. Tina: great, or doubleplusgood?

    Dave: Students of history know that martial arts schools were forcibly closed during Japan’s post-war reconstruction, and during China’s Cultural Revolution. What has changed since the days of Douglas MacArthur, or Wilhelm Reich? Not enough, I’d say. First follow the links in the article (I’ve added a few more for background information), then tell us whether we are paranoid.

  4. Well, to each his own I guess. I just don’t see a tight connection that leads to your conclusion. It seems like paranoia to me. The only link that I found disturbing was the “coerced to confess” one. So thanks for that one.

  5. This is not an argument with premises and a conclusion. It is a work of fiction, inspired by recent events, historical facts and unfortunate truths of human nature.

    A few of the facts you somehow do not find disturbing:

    • The FBI keeps files on people who exercise their Constitutionally-protected right of free speech in peaceful protest of government policy.
    • If I am not mistaken, the Patriot Act defines membership in a organization containing terrorists as “material support of terrorism”. Guilt by association is also a violation of the Bill of Rights.
    • The Butokukai and the Aikikai were both associated with war criminals. Under the standard established by the Patriot Act, every martial artist in these associations would have been guilty of a crime.

    Enough about terrorism for now.

    Dave, I see you’ve been writing a lot about qi and neigong lately. Did you know Wilhelm Reich was investigating the jing-qi transmutation here in America, as early as the 1930s? The government declared him a fraud and a madman, and threw him in prison, where he later died. (If he was truly insane, by the way, then what are you?)

    During the Nuremberg Trials, Nazi leader Hermann Goering said:

    …the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.

    To successfully execute this strategy, the right enemy must be selected: one just barely strong and crazy enough to pass for a credible threat, but unable to defend itself against a public onslaught.

    A little strong, and a little crazy? The choice is clear. To unify the country under your control, persecute the internal martial artists. (After the greater threats have been eliminated.)

  6. “Dave, I see you’ve been writing a lot about qi and neigong lately. Did you know Wilhelm Reich was investigating the jing-qi transmutation here in America, as early as the 1930s? The government declared him a fraud and a madman, and threw him in prison, where he later died. (If he was truly insane, by the way, then what are you?)”

    I guess it makes me a member of the Illuminati. 🙂

  7. Security expert Bruce Schneier agrees, supporting my case with dozens of real-life examples:

    We’ve opened up a new front on the war on terror. It’s an attack on the unique, the unorthodox, the unexpected; it’s a war on different. If you act different, you might find yourself investigated, questioned, and even arrested — even if you did nothing wrong, and had no intention of doing anything wrong…This isn’t the way counterterrorism is supposed to work, but it’s happening everywhere…
    [Continued in The War on the Unexpected]

  8. The secret society approach is proclaiming secrets must be kept as a method of maintaining power over other people, those secrets will bind certain martial arts organizations together. That splintering of items such as corporations is what does remove the secrecy kick, while it would require skill in the face of a hostile organization desiring to keep secrets. When many secrets are spread this will cause martial arts to look bland then people will need to look someplace else, for that profiteering.

  9. The secret society approach is proclaiming secrets must be kept as a method of maintaining power over other people, those secrets will bind certain martial arts organizations together.

  10. well man, you nailed it. this will apply to the current china government in the most explicit way possible.
    except there isnt a bill of rights for protecting spiritual diversity at all in china (there isnt any real ones in the world, but in china even fake ones dont exist, and not even allowed to exist at all). And of course the advertising of combative art is deeply restricted, even sports are moderated and frequently interfered. you dare try something new and extreme on the internet or real business, you will be meeting the police the next couple of weeks, period.

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