My previous list of top Chuck Norris facts was a surprise hit. Here are a few more of my favorites, from Comrad Ivan Red’s myspace blog:
Don’t bring a knife to a gunfight.
And don’t bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
- Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t shower—he only takes blood baths.
- It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
- Chuck Norris won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a 7 of spades and a green UNO card.
- Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t play god. Playing is for children.
- If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
- Chuck Norris never opens a can of whoop-ass. He makes his own.
- Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
- Lightning never strikes twice in the same place, because Chuck Norris is looking for it.