14 Amazing Chuck Norris Facts

143 responses so far ↓

• 1 Jersey Girl // Aug 16, 2006

  Flippin’ brilliant post…I’m laughing like a crazy woman here… Okay, so maybe I am crazy, but that’s besides the point. Don’t stare.

• 2 MamaDuck // Aug 16, 2006

  ROTFL!! Our list is up if you’d like to look… have a great day!

• 3 Josh Maher // Aug 16, 2006

  How do we get this amazing power?

  http://joshmaher.wordpress.com/2006/08/14/top-ten-reasons-you-should-not-blog/

• 4 Jersey Girl // Aug 16, 2006

  Okay, it’s about two hours later and I had to come back to read it for a chuckle…just as funny the second time. LOL…still laughing.

• 5 Chris // Aug 16, 2006

  Now that is one funny list, I always knew Chuck Norris was some kinda of super being.

  Take a peek at my List

• 6 Leroy Brown // Aug 16, 2006

  Rockin list man! Good work.

• 7 Sarakastic // Aug 16, 2006

  This should be a bumpersticker “Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.”

• 8 nrkii // Aug 16, 2006

  I haven’t come up with a list yet, and now I’m intimidated by the power of Chuck Norris.

  This is fantastic!

  And I agree about the bumper sticker.

• 9 Jennie // Aug 17, 2006

  oh my god! ROTFL! Truly unique list, I really enjoyed reading that one!

• 10 Dave Carr // Aug 31, 2006

  You know, I am not really a Chuck buff – but this stuff is funny! Thanks!

  DC1

• 11 TMaiden // Sep 11, 2006

  If you enjoy these, you might as well read, view, and post your own at http://www.famousfacts.net

• 12 Lufecaep // Sep 28, 2006

  The dead sea scrolls revealed that the literal translation of Genisis 1:1 was “In the beginning Chuck Norris performed a roundhouse kick”

• 13 Chris // Sep 28, 2006

  Thank you for sharing. I have recently discovered that Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth, and boils the water with his own rage.

• 14 April Flowers // Sep 29, 2006

  This has been well published in many other places (with more items). I really would like people to at least acknowledge that their content originated (even if in part) elsewhere.
  Here are some of my favorites which were not listed here (a whole bunch can be found at http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris):

  1 – Chuck Norris CAN divide by zero.
  2 – Chuck Norris sleeps with a nightlight. Not because he’s afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of him.
  3 – Chuck Norris’ tears can cure any known disease. Too bad he hasn’t and never will cry.
  And finally, my favorite:
  4 – The eternal conundrum “what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?” was finally solved when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked himself in the face. That was the first time he was ever seen without his beard, a mere 7th dan blackbelt.

• 15 Chris // Sep 30, 2006

  I would be happy to acknowledge the original authors, but every website I’ve seen (including Uncyclopedia) quotes them without attribution.

• 16 LinuxGuru // Oct 9, 2006

  Some Top 100 facts about Chuck Norris.

  http://www.dahl-lumholt.dk/Chuck-Norris.html

  Enjoy !!!

• 17 Guy // Oct 14, 2006

  when chuck norris walks out into the rain, he doesn’t get wet. the rain gets chuck norris.

• 18 jamil // Oct 15, 2006

  Ohhhhh thats shot but i don’t know who is norris

• 19 Chris // Oct 15, 2006

  Who is Chuck Norris? He is your worst nightmare. Some say he drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

• 20 alexa // Oct 21, 2006

  Chuck norris found the guys from LOST.

• 21 alexa // Oct 21, 2006

  Chuck Norris stopped THE MASK.

• 22 Chris // Nov 25, 2006

  Watch the Man himself read his favorite facts, on “The Best Damn Sports Show, Period”:
  

• 23 elkikofly // Dec 29, 2006

  you migth not know Chuck Norris but he does know who you are!

• 24 elkikofly // Dec 29, 2006

  on my home town whenever someones feet stink at a long range, we say that guy kicks like Chuck Norris and his long kicking

• 25 n/a // Jan 18, 2007

  Check out my Chuck Norris widget for Mac OS-
  http://frozenflamestudios.com/widgets

• 26 Lance // Feb 5, 2007

  On Chuck Norris’s birthday, he chooses one lucky child and roundhouse kicks him to the sun.

• 27 johnny a // Feb 5, 2007

  Chuck Norris once created a woman using one of his own ribs. She later became known as Superman

• 28 ben // Feb 22, 2007

  chuck norris isnt hung like horse, horses are hung like chuck norris

• 29 haha // Mar 5, 2007

  Gerald Henderson took karate from Chuck Norris

• 30 mrmr // Mar 24, 2007

  When Chuck Norris jacks off baby’s shoot out.

• 31 Charisse // Mar 27, 2007

  Chuck Norris once went to the Virgin Islands, now they are called the Islands.

• 32 what-eva // Apr 6, 2007

  the burmada triangle used to be the burmada square until chuck norris kicked a corner off!

• 33 john leister // Apr 6, 2007

  Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic was not sunk by an
  iceburg. It was sunk by a time-travelling Chuck Norris,
  who was practicing his roundhouse kicks against the hull.

• 34 john leister // Apr 6, 2007

  When Yoda met Chuck Norris, he said, “Your bitch, I am.”

• 35 Chuck norris toilet paper // Apr 6, 2007

  Have you guys seen the chuck norris toilet paper?

• 36 dustin // Apr 10, 2007

  Chuck Norris, the only man to go missing in action three times.

• 37 JordanH. // Apr 27, 2007

  Chuck Norris gives the Bowflex Machine abs.

• 38 Johnny // May 9, 2007

  the boogieman one is my all-time favorite. haha..

• 39 dogbertcarroll // May 18, 2007

  Mr. T’s original catch phrase was “I pity the fool, who f*&ks with Chuck!”,
  but the sensors removed the last half of the phrase figuring it was implied anyway.

• 40 denn // May 27, 2007

  chuck norris’ fart smells like a can of deodorant.

• 41 brian // Jul 3, 2007

  Chuck Norris played himself in Russian Roulette and won

• 42 Andrew // Jul 5, 2007

  Chastity pledges are no longer practiced because everyone knows Chuck Norris will always come around and derail their plans.

• 43 Andrew // Jul 5, 2007

  Math was invented by Chuck Norris as a body-count system.

  Chuck Norris is so prolific he replaces all the people he kills.

  All the electric guitars in America were played at once at full volume and sent in a continuous wave of sound toward Chuck Norris.
  One note from Chuck Norris and he overpowered the orchestra.

  Never perform a roundhouse kick in the air unless you’re sure Chuck Norris is not standing in front of you, completely invisible.

• 44 Andrew // Jul 5, 2007

  Chuck Norris slept through the Big Bang.

  God is actually Chuck Norris is disguise.

  Chuck Norris is Christian, but he doesn’t need faith the size of a mustard seed to command a mountain to uproot itself. The mountain JUST DOES IT.

  Walker, Texas Ranger will never be canceled because that would piss off Chuck Norris.

  Chuck Norris’ right leg was sliced off by a razor-sharp sword, and the leg got up by itself and smashed the sword into pieces.

  Chuck Norris was the actual father of Anakin Skywalker.

  Virginity is actually on the DECLINE because of Chuck Norris.

• 45 neogeo124 // Aug 2, 2007

  Napalm was invented when chuck norris lit one of his farts. This is also where the phrase “FIRE IN THE HOLE” originated.

• 46 Andrew // Aug 4, 2007

  Chuck Norris’ foot broke a lightsaber blade.

  A region of the earth that is labeled as uninhabitable is not so because of unfavorable environmental conditions, but because of Chuck Norris.

• 47 Duff // Aug 8, 2007

  Fact: The shortest distance between two points is Chuck Norris.

• 48 Temple // Aug 8, 2007

  Chuck Norris uses “i” before”e” and then rounhouse kicks “c” in the face.

• 49 Mise // Aug 12, 2007

  When Chuck Norris does push-ups he doesn’t push his boddy up, he pushes the Earth down!!!

• 50 Mise // Aug 12, 2007

  Chuck Norris can divide by zero!!!!

• 51 Mise // Aug 12, 2007

  Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did!!!

• 52 JoelHod // Aug 27, 2007

  To go along with your Chuck Norris facts, here are some presidential “facts” as well from this site:

  http://www.voont.com/presfacts

  Abraham Lincoln (1861 – 1865)

  * Consumed small Mexican child on more than one occasion

  * Unsuccessfully attempted to change presidential oath from “Preserve, protect, and defend the constitution of the United States” to “Once you go black, you never go back”

  Theodore Roosevelt (1901 – 1909)

  * Was actually highly advanced cyborg assassin sent back in time to kill Taft

  Herbert Hoover (1929 – 1933)

  * Provided the main guitar riff for Rage Against the Machine’s “Calm Like a Bomb”

  Yikes.

• 53 Al // Sep 3, 2007

  LMAO – literally. This is sooo funny!

• 54 Vink // Sep 4, 2007

  Chuck once ate the entire stock of a Jewelery store and was shat diamond encrusted gold bricks for a whole week

• 55 Josh Houghtelin // Sep 6, 2007

  I made a Quote DB clone & turned it public. It’s got over 500 Chuck Norris Facts now. ^_^

  http://burnmytime.com/ChuckNorris/?browse

• 56 chris // Sep 8, 2007

  Chuck Norris can believe its not butter. good times

• 57 crazydude // Sep 10, 2007

  These are some good ones. The best story ever though is here:
  http://www.quazen.com/Recreation/Humor/Chuck-Norris-Facts.43417

• 58 Johntyboy // Sep 25, 2007

  If you look closely, Chuck Norris does indeed have a middle name. It’s just squashed really thin.

• 59 Jamie // Sep 29, 2007

  chuck norris can talk about fight club.
  chuck norris can belive it’s not butter’
  chuck norris can touch mc hammer.

• 60 Nick // Oct 2, 2007

  Dude Chuck Norris is a legend.
  ~When Chuck Norris jumps in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

• 61 Seth // Oct 20, 2007

  Chuck Norris and a genie met, the genie had two more wishes…

• 62 lona geffe // Oct 24, 2007

  Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, “I believe… I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride.” Arnie says, “I believe… that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements.” God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies with, “I believe… you are sitting in my seat.”

• 63 YoYo // Oct 25, 2007

  Haha these are funny!

  God said let there be light. Chuck Norris said, “say please.”

• 64 Becky Tague // Nov 9, 2007

  Chuck Norris’ favorite candy is a Jawbreaker.

• 65 Ben // Dec 9, 2007

  1. Thous shalt not kill. That’s Chuck Norris’s job.
  2. You might say that Chuck Norris is a no-talent, redneck hack. But he only might let you live to regret it.
  3. Say what you want about Chuck Norris. Just know that he’s listening.
  4. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a bullet-proof vest. His chest hair puts Kevlar to shame.
  5. Chuck Norris supports your right to bear arms…until he rips them from your torso.
  6. Chuck Norris once killed a Head-On ad exec with a roundhouse kick applied directly to the forehead.
  7. The CN Tower is the tallest building in the world. With those initials, is it any wonder?
  8. Chuck Norris nobly defends the right of all men to die by a roundhouse kick to the face.
  9. Chuck Norris loves America. Its women especially.
  10. Chuck Norris may not have brought you into this world but he’ll take you out of it. With a roundhouse kick to the face. Also, he did bring you into this world…by banging your mom.
  11. When only an infant, Chuck Norris was discovered in the wilds of Yellowstone. The wolves are only now beginning to recover their numbers.
  12. Chuck Norris once spent the night in the Lincoln Bedroom at the White House. He wasn’t invited but he was tired and who was going to stop him?
  13. Chuck Norris does not covet his neighbors wife. he’s done with her.
  14. I believe the children are our future…and that Chuck Norris fathered them all.

• 66 Kirk Johnston // Dec 19, 2007

  Superman doesn’t become more powerful as he approaches our sun. He becomes more powerful as he approaches Chuck Norris.

• 67 Bob Reynolds // Dec 31, 2007

  CHUCK NORRIS ONE THE 1983 WORLD SERIES OF POKER, DESPITE HOLDING ONLY A 7 OF CLUBS, A RED 3 FROM UNO, AND A ” GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD” FROM MONOPOLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  ROFLMAO

• 68 Anthony // Jan 11, 2008

  When God sneezes, he says “Chuck Norris bless me” to Himself.

  In Genesis 1:3, God said let there be light” so that he could see if Chuck Norris was going to roundhouse kick him in the face.

• 69 Anthony // Jan 22, 2008

  Chuck Norris doesn’t work out on the Total Gym, the Total Gym works out on him.

• 70 Jon C. // Jan 28, 2008

  In 1972 a man asked Chuck Norris after the release of Way of the Dragon “what was it like to get your ass kicked.” He was promptly round house kicked so hard that he was the first object to leave the solar system not Pioneer 10. Chuck Norris just lets all of us believe that Pioneer 10 was the first.

• 71 Dustin Smartt // Jan 30, 2008

  Elvis announces when Chuck Norris leaves the building.

• 72 Anthony // Feb 1, 2008

  In Texas, death-row prisoners are put to death by having Chuck Norris stare at them until they die from fear.

• 73 Eddy // Feb 13, 2008

  Chuck Norris dosn’t conform to religion, Religion conforms to Chuc Norris.

• 74 Anthony // Feb 18, 2008

  If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, it makes a sound…only audible to Chuck Norris

• 75 Anthony // Feb 19, 2008

  Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

• 76 ricky bobby // Feb 23, 2008

  chuck norris doesnt consider it sex if the woman survives. also, he secretly sleeps with every woman once a month and they bleed for a week

• 77 Anthony // Feb 27, 2008

  Freddy Kruger is afraid to fall asleep, for fear he’ll dream of Chuck Norris.

• 78 Candi // Feb 28, 2008

  Chuck Norris leaves a nightlight on when he goes to sleep. Not because he’s afraid of the dark. Because the dark is afraid of him.

  Chuck Norris could run around the world and kick himself in the back of the head.

  Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

  There is no “ctrl” button on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

  Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

  Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

  Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

  If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

  Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

  Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

  Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

  When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

  Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

  Chuck Norris doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

  Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

  Chuck Norris doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

  Chuck Norris doesn’t have to comb his hair. They all fall perfectly into place, from fear.

• 79 Gregory // Mar 11, 2008

  Here’s one you’ve never heard before –

  When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror he sees Sirron Kcuhc and he know that he can beat him.

• 80 bryan // Mar 14, 2008

  chuck norris’s tears cure cancer……to bad he never cried…..never has….never will

• 81 Anthony // Apr 2, 2008

  A rolling stone gathers no moss…unless Chuck Norris wants it to.

• 82 .. // Apr 10, 2008

  A watched pot never boils. Unless Chuck Norris is watching the pot. Then the pot explodes.

• 83 luc , paddy and lottie // Apr 19, 2008

  Historians believe that the area between trenches in wars is called no mans land…we all know this as CHUCKS LAND!!

  CHUCK NORRIS fired Alan Sugar!

  CHUCK NORRIS framed Roger Rabbit

  Lighting never strikes twice…CHUCK NORRIS does…

  Mastercard..for everything else theres CHUCK NORRIS.

  CHUCK NORRIS once played with fire…fire got burnt.

  CHUCK NORRIS doesnt get cancer..he gives it.

  Great works are performed, not by strength but by CHUCK NORRIS.

  CHUCK NORRIS is hotter than the sun.

  The only known cure for world hunger is CHUCK NORRIS..

  Contrary to popular belief..on the 7th day God did not rest..On the 7th day God recieved a roundhouse kick fom CHUCK NORRIS..

• 84 Anthony // Apr 23, 2008

  All of the pencils in Chuck Norris’s house don’t have erasers, because Chuck Norris has never made a mistake…EVER.

• 85 J.R. // Apr 30, 2008

  chuck norris can shoot you with an unloaded gun

• 86 Funny Lists - Chuck Norris // Apr 30, 2008

  When you open a can of whoop ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.

• 87 Anthony // May 6, 2008

  They say no man is an island…but Chuck Norris could be if he wanted to.

• 88 Anthony // May 6, 2008

  They say you can’t go home again…but Chuck Norris can go whever the hell he wants to!

• 89 bob // May 23, 2008

  Jesus can walk on water, chuck norris can swim through dry land

• 90 bob // May 23, 2008

  God wanted to make the earth in 10 days chuck norris gave him 7

• 91 From Sweden // Jun 20, 2008

  Chuck Norris doesn’t manage conflicts, he eliminates them.

• 92 Jack // Jun 23, 2008

  Chuck Norris can make a snow angel in a brick wall.

• 93 Jack // Jun 23, 2008

  Chuck Norris can make a snow angel in a brick wall.
  Chuck Norris can fuck two girls at the same time. Literally.
  Chuck Norris can send sms message using toster.
  Chuck Norris can put out the fire with gasoline.
  Chuck Norris uses a live python as a condom.

• 94 Anthony // Jun 24, 2008

  CNN really stands for Chuck Norris Network

• 95 Anthony // Jul 1, 2008

  They say a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. But a bird in Chuck Norris’ hand…is one squished bird.

• 96 Marriah // Jul 18, 2008

  When some people go to bed they were superman pajamas, when superman goes to bed he wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

• 97 Southsider // Aug 6, 2008

  Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

  Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

  Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.

  Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

  Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

  chuck norris has the real king kong in his trunk

  When chuck norris looks in the mirror, nothin appears because theres only 1 chuck norris

  Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.

  Chuck Norris wasn’t born with feet, just boots

  Chuck Norris can dribble a football

  When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it is scared to come back.

  When Chuck Norris picks his nose, he REALLY does find Gold.
  Chuck norris invented the corndog

  Chuck Norris Jump from the top of the Empire State Building and he only sprained his ankle

  The moon is actually a comet that was once on course to hit earth… then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it into orbit.
  Chuck Norris does not dance. He roundhouse kicks to the beat.
  Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris

  Chuck Norris does not love Raymond.

  Chuck Norris puts the FUN in Funeral.

  If you get roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris in your dream, you DIE!

  Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly

  Chuck Norris once shot down a German plane by pointing his finger and yelling “bang”

  Chuck Norris eats a bowl of rocks every morning

• 98 Children of the Cornelius // Aug 8, 2008

  Here are some of my own Chuck Norris Facts. Did you know? The state bird of Oklahoma is Chuck Norris’ middle finger. Chuck Norris’ first words were dada, his dad’s first words were Chuck Norris. The first letter of Chuck Norris’ alphabet is Ouch. If you think it’s weird seeing dead people then how do you think dead people feel when they see Chuck Norris.

• 99 Hillary Kitten // Aug 24, 2008

  What will Chuck Norris wear to John McCain’s inauguration? His best combat tuxedo.

• 100 Anthony // Sep 4, 2008

  Chuck Norris has such a magnetic personality that he can’t carry credit cards

• 101 Anthony // Sep 11, 2008

  The only thing we have to fear is fear itself…and of course, Chuck Norris.

• 102 Morgan // Sep 11, 2008

  -Chuck Norris could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hit.

  -If you gave Chuck Norris a typewriter and 0.000000000000000000001th of a second he can write the Complete Works of Shakespeare

  -Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb

  -When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald’s because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy’s

  -Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

  -Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

  -The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

• 103 Brandon // Sep 30, 2008

  If the world came down to nuclear war only Chuck Norris and the cockroaches would survive but the cockroaches wont survive Chuck Norris

• 104 Brandon // Oct 2, 2008

  Only two things cut diamonds. Diamonds and Chuck Norris

• 105 sultan // Oct 12, 2008

  Chuck Norris made a rock so big he couldn’t lift it – then he lifted it anyway.

• 106 Anthony // Oct 20, 2008

  Chuck Norris thinks his shit doesn’t stink…and he’s right!

• 107 lolman // Nov 23, 2008

  hey check out http://chucknorrism.com for user submitted chuck norris facts. many of them are new and hilarious!!

• 108 chuck // Nov 26, 2008

  ha ha, here’s a huge collection of Chuck Norris facts http://chucknorrism.com

• 109 Starshadow // Nov 28, 2008

  We all need somebody to lean on. Except for Chuck Norris.

  Chuck Norris can make a triangle have two obtuse angles.

  Chuck Norris died and went to heaven. When he got there
  God said, “Welcome!” Chuck Norris said, “Get out of my chair.”

• 110 ben // Dec 26, 2008

  Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

  Hes freakin amazing

• 111 blargh // Jan 9, 2009

  anyone can piss on the floor, but Chuck Norris can shit on the ceiling.

• 112 Tyler // Jan 9, 2009

  Chuck Norris once had sex in a trailer. He got some sperm on the gas tank. that trailer is now known as Optimus Prime.

• 113 NDawg // Jan 10, 2009

  Chuck Norris goes to bowling alleys,puts a quarter in the crack in the door,and a bowling ball rolls out. He says his favorite flavor is cherry

• 114 rjtuifdj // Jan 11, 2009

  when god said let there be light chuck norris said say please

• 115 Tyler // Jan 12, 2009

  Contrary to popular belief, there is enouph chuck norris to go around.
  Space exists because it is afraid to be on the same planet as chuck norris.
  Chuck Norris invented the C Section when he round house kicked his way out of his mother’s womb.

• 116 Anthony // Jan 12, 2009

  Chuck Norris is never late. Whatever time he arrives is the right time.

• 117 Robbie // Jan 13, 2009

  Chuck norris can win at connect four…
  … in three moves!

• 118 justin // Jan 13, 2009

  chuck norris uses pepper spray to spice up his barbed-wire steaks.

• 119 David // Jan 23, 2009

  Chuck Norris doesn’t tell knock-knock jokes,
  Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicks the door down!

• 120 Vickie Hicks // Jan 29, 2009

  I am so glad that you can joke at yourself. I never used to do that to myself. Now I can. I guess I finally realized that life is to short, especially when I thought about committing suicide before I seen the symptoms for depression on the television and then I realized what was wrong with me. I had every symptom except one. I had weight gain instead of weight loss.

• 121 Daniel Hill // Feb 6, 2009

  Chuck Norris’s roundhouse kicks are a paradox: They kill instantly, yet contain more antioxidants than green tea…

• 122 MOSTLYWES // Mar 18, 2009

  Here is a Chuck Norris joke I made up.. Texas has an option of the type of death penalty ……Firing squad or Chuck Norris..

• 123 ivan // Nov 13, 2009

  Do you know how the Ninja Turtles were born?…….Chuck Norris fcuked a Turtle

• 124 DUDEBRO // Dec 9, 2009

  Chuck norris is 1/8 Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking indian!!

  If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck has 5 dollars. Chuck has more money than you!

  Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

  Acording to Newtons law of reletivity, Chuck Norris can actualy roundhouse kick you yesterday!!

• 125 Frieds // Dec 22, 2009

  if chuck norris says that you are a nintendo tart it means that you are a wii-tart – a.k.a stupid. then run – he will find you

• 126 Kelton Knutson // Dec 25, 2009

  Heres one I made up-

  **Chuck Norris doesnt lick his postage stamps, He just looks at them and they wet themselves.**

• 127 Mr Luigi // Jan 23, 2010

  Chuck Norris bet on the 2015 Superbowl… and won.
  Chuck Norris only runs when he wants to speed up or reverse time due to the fact that him running directly affects the rotation of the Earth.
  Chuck Norris beat the world champion heavyweight boxer… with both hands tied behind his back.
  Chuck Norris doesn’t have a drivers license… cars slow him down.
  Chuck Norris can fly when he wants to because gravity doesn’t want any trouble.
  The first atomic bomb was just a paper mache ball containing Chuck Norris that was dropped from a plane.
  Meteorologists follow around Chuck Norris and wait for him to sneeze so they know when and where to issue tornado warnings.

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  [...] 96. Top 25 Romance Movies by Ashwin 97. Disney Favorites From the Disney Dog Blog by Deb 98. Top Ten Janeane Garofalo Mistakes by BoreAmerica 99. My Top 10 Favorite Desperate Housewives Moments by Leora 100. 11 Teams I’d Love to See on the Amazing Race by Kent 101. 7 Hollywood Blockbuster Blogging Movies Not Coming to a Cinema Near You by Vincent 102. How to be a Movie Star and/or Cult Leader by Eltan 103. Top 10 Lindsay Lohan Oops Moments by Arieanna 104. Songs for October by Kenn 105. Wedding songs for the despair Generation by Jill 106. Top 13 Black Comedies by andi 107. 5 Books That Made Me an Optimistic Environmentalist by Steve 108. Some of the Worst Filler Songs of All Time… by D.T. Kelly 109. 14 Amazing Chuck Norris Facts by Chris 110. Five Happy Dog Movies by Katelyn 111. 7 Reasons I Can’t Wait for the 2006 Fall TV Season to Start by Jason 112. 5 Benjamin Bratt Movies Worth Your Time; and 9.4 “Law & Order” episodes, too by Brattfan 113. The 11 New Fall Shows I can’t Wait to See by Adam 114. The Top 10 (heck, maybe more) Streaming Piles Even I Can’t Believe I Sat Through! by The Gooch 115. 5 Songs That Have Torn at my Heartstrings by Alan 116. Things You Learn from Anime by Alan [...]

• Seven Entertaining TV Related Lists » TVaholic.com // Sep 4, 2006

  [...] 14 Amazing Chuck Norris Facts – Fourteen of favorite facts from Chuck Norris Facts. I wish Walker, Texas Ranger was still on every Saturday night. Then at least something would be. [...]

• links for 2006-10-08 | Phil Wallach // Oct 7, 2006

  [...] 14 Amazing Chuck Norris Facts – Martial Development (tags: martial arts humour) [...]

• ladieslovetk » Article » Chuck Norris is MRHM // Mar 1, 2007

  [...] I love lists. I practically had to change my diaper after reading this one. [...]

• Chuck Norris Google Facts // May 20, 2008

  [...] Chuck Norris built Google’s first data center from a roll of barbed wire, a pallet of lumber, and a side of raw beef. The barbed wire was just for snacking. [...]

• Chuck Norris on God and Guns…Mostly Guns // Oct 27, 2009

  [...] Chuck Norris Fact Book,” a fun yet inspirational and educational book in which I share my 101 favorite Chuck Norris facts–-embedded within five core values: freedom, family, faith, fitness and [...]

• Chuck Norris Gets His Facts Right? // Nov 6, 2009

  [...] in America’s “Culture War” will undoubtedly love this book. Those unfamiliar with Chuck Norris facts will also like it. For everyone else, a little Christian patience may be [...]

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