Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is an excellent martial art for fighting competitions. After provoking a tussle with an angry redneck, BJJ student Joseph Guichebarou executes a takedown and mount with relative ease. If it were a tournament match, he could have proceeded to choke the man unconscious, or break a limb, or wait for a submission or a referee’s call.
Tapout – Cheezburger = FAIL
But this was not a tournament match. It was a scuffle at an Austin Whataburger, with a dozen laughing spectators. And in taking the superior position, the BJJ artist had essentially painted himself into a corner.
If this were an MMA contest, he could have sat on his attacker’s chest and pounded the man’s face. But when you do that at a fast-food restaurant, the police tend to call it an assault. Good luck convincing a judge–even in Texas–that such an act was reasonable or necessary for self-defense.
Neither can our BJJ student simply get up and walk away after scoring his dominance points, lest he get attacked again from behind. So he finds himself in this awkward position, straddling a furious fat man with no underpants, and pleading: “Are you done?”
No retreat, no surrender
While we aren’t shown the ultimate outcome of this brawl in the video, we can nevertheless draw a few lessons from it. First, don’t stand between a Texas big boy and his cheeseburger dinner. Second: if attacked, don’t expect anyone to assist or intervene on your behalf. Third, never pick a fight unless you have a viable exit strategy.
So, was BJJ the best solution to the problem? What do you think?