BLACK BELT – That uniform accessory most coveted by students of martial arts, who, upon receiving it, pretend it never held any interest at all.

PRACTICE – To endlessly repeat the same sequence of movements, always hoping for different results. (See also: INSANITY.)

KATA – An awful form of dance, often assumed to divulge some hidden meaning after sufficient PRACTICE.
[Read more →]

VANCOUVER—Local Kenpo karate instructor Dick “The Tiger” Rickson has a message for his students: Stop breathing improperly, or die.

As the newest inductee into the Red Belt International Karate Hall of Fame, Rickson knows a little something about breath. More than one hundred eager and respectful learners in his three area Kenpo dojos obviously agree. Some join for health and fitness reasons, others for self-defense–but no matter the primary motivation or goal, all are tutored in the ancient ways of breathing. [Read more →]

More offbeat news from the world of martial arts…

Barack Obama, Samurai Statesman?

“Manga Bible” Casts Jesus Christ as Samurai Warrior

Christian thinkers have tried to make the Bible accessible for centuries, scholars said. Stained glass windows related Bible stories when Europe was largely illiterate. New printing technology in the 19th century made it possible to mass-produce Bibles, including illustrated versions…

The goal of the Bibles is not just to win people to Christ, but to particular ways of thinking, said Jason BeDuhn, associate professor of religious studies at Northern Arizona University. Manga Bible author Mr. Akinsiku said the biblical message he wanted to underscore was justice, especially for the poor…
[Continued in The New York Times]

Attention Anchormen: Not Every Swordsman is a Samurai
Recently confronted by a sword-wielding maniac, German police lower their guns, in favor of the trusty battle broom. [Read more →]

Reader Rory Miller asks,
“What is the difference between martial artists and BDSM players?”

To minimize any confusion, I have compiled this handy reference chart. [Read more →]

The tassel’s movement will confuse, distract and bewilder your enemies, maybe. Limited supply available.

Where did Steven Seagal go wrong? His early movies—Hard to Kill, Out for Justice, Under Siege—reinvigorated the action genre, with their breathtaking displays of no-holds-barred Aikido.

His next two-dozen films weren’t so well received, or so I hear. I didn’t watch them myself.

It wasn’t the thin plots or dull acting that eventually turned me off Steven Seagal’s work; it was his characters, or rather his character. [Read more →]

For far too long I’ve sat idly by, twiddling my thumbs and respecting the right of others to form thoughts and opinions independent of my own, and I can’t take it anymore. I’ve got to speak up about the many things that annoy me or I’m going to go crazy. Take these new credit cards with the microchips in them, for instance. Man, those things really get my goat—trying to improve a device that was working perfectly fine as it was. Even worse are those wrappers on CDs that take forever to open. But you know what I hate the most? The one thing that makes my blood boil whenever I see it? Anything beyond my mental capacity, that’s what. [Read more →]

Don’t worry if a rule makes sense—the important thing is that it’s a rule. Arbitrary rules teach kids discipline: If every rule made sense, they wouldn’t be learning respect for authority, they’d be learning logic.

From I Am America (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert Sensei

Attention, busy parents: do you need an authority figure to enforce a set of arbitrary rules on your children? Visit your local dojo today!

A depiction of Pennsylvania-land, artist unknown

The first time I heard the outrageous claims about a magical land in the Far East, I dismissed them as the ranting of a deranged lunatic. As a learned man of science, I am not so easily swayed by such fanciful tales.

Unfortunately, these stories of a mythical state known as “Pennsylvania” have gained some traction amongst the more impressionable segments of the public. On behalf of all rational men and women, I have chosen now to speak out against this absurdity, lest it acquire through unchallenged repetition some facade of legitimacy. [Read more →]

My Fellow Investors,

These are perilous times, for even the best of us.

A few short months ago, the market analysts were telling us this would never happen…that the fallout from the banking industry’s irresponsible lending practices would be confined mainly to the housing sector, and our broader economy would continue its gentle ascent.

Folks, the hot-air balloon ride is over. Today, we find ourselves unwilling passengers on an economic Hindenburg. The markets are dropping fast. Typically reserved pundits are openly using the R-word—recession—and a few have even mentioned the D-word! [Read more →]