Claude the bear, from Hiroshima zoo
(Yes, it’s real)

Kung Fu Bear mashups [Read more →]

Action movie star Steven Seagal found himself Under Siege this week by a former personal assistant, who filed a lawsuit alleging sexual harassment, assault and other crimes in a California court.

According to Kayden Nguyen, a 23 year old former model, Seagal is A Dangerous Man who lured her in using Craigslist, ostensibly for a position as his Executive Assistant. Only after traveling with Seagal’s entourage to a secluded Louisiana estate, did Nguyen learn her true intended role: to assist the star of “Lawman” with his unquenchable Fire Down Below. [Read more →]

John Chang was a practical joker. I had been on an elevator with him one evening along with twenty other people. The elevator was a glass-walled unit that ferried people up and down the floors of a shopping mall; there was a steel railing all around that people rested their backs on. We were going out to eat that evening at a local restaurant on the top floor of the mall.

Suddenly a burst of current pulsed through the steel backstop. Women screamed and everyone pulled away, suspecting a short circuit. John pulled away too, as I had, but I needed only one look at the barely suppressed grin on his face to realize what had really happened: He had sent a pulse of bio-energy through the railing!

Serious training in meditation, qigong, or kundalini yoga is long, hard, often boring, and sometimes downright bitter. Yet when a student reports their discovery of an exciting fringe benefit, such as heightened or extrasensory perception, certain other members of the community are quick to scold them.

“Pay no attention to such things,” the lecturer instructs. “They will only distract you from the ultimate goal of cosmic union.” Well, maybe so, and maybe not, but in the meantime, I think it is important to keep one’s sense of humor intact. [Read more →]

This video clip has been chosen, as I have chosen others before it.
Each of them shall display the ancient art of the ninja warrior.

So you want to be a teenage ninja
Let me begin to show you what ya gotta do
Ya gotta know the rules and pay your dues
If you wanna graduate from this ninja school [Read more →]

Spotted at Wal-Mart…

Alluda Majaka was the first Indian film in history to earn more than 2 million rupees. Starring Chiranjeevi–the Desi Chuck Norris–Alluda Majaka thrilled audiences with its gritty, no-nonsense action sequences.

[Read more →]

Advocates of compulsory health insurance plans will often ask rhetorically, “What if you got hit by a bus?” Yet we all know that the relatively poor health of America today isn’t the result of some freak accident. It wasn’t the shark attack, the falling piano, or the runaway Prius that has led so many of us to physical (and financial) ruin.

The real cause is inappropriate conduct. It is, primarily, neglect and disregard for the effects of diet, exercise, environmental conditions, and other factors under our imperfect but substantial control.

As a holistic form of exercise, martial arts can arguably be classified as health care. Experienced practitioners also recognize it as a form of health insurance. Daily practice provides a richly detailed baseline against which latent health issues can easily be observed, and hopefully corrected in their earliest stages.

Those are the straightforward facts; now here is the tricky part: we can use martial arts to insure and ensure our health, but how do we insure the practice itself? [Read more →]

If you’re being chased by an angry bull, and then you notice you’re also being chased by a swarm of bees, it doesn’t really change things. Just keep on running.

How to Fend Off a Shark

Hit back. If a shark is coming toward you or attacks you, use anything you have in your possession—a camera, probe, harpoon gun, or fist—to hit the shark’s eyes or gills, which are the areas most sensitive to pain. The nose is not as sensitive as these areas. [Read more →]

After Springfield’s men become obsessed with Ultimate Fighting Ultimate Punching events, Marge steps into the Octagon Septagon to battle the sport’s charismatic founder. [Read more →]

The meme works as follows. You post five things about yourself. Four are untrue. One is true. All are so outlandish, implausible or ridiculous that no one would be inclined to believe that any of them are true. And despite the pleas from your readers, you never divulge which is true and which are fabrications. You then tag five other people (four seriously and one person you are pretty sure would never participate).

1. I once challenged more than twenty members of a rival Kung Fu school. [Read more →]