Jack Johnson: Boxer, Bullfighter, Badass

John Arthur “Jack” Johnson was the first black heavyweight champion, but also paved the road for future athletes in the ways of trash talking, flashy bling and openly banging white women in an era when that could get you lynched. The man was everything Muhammad Ali would be…except he was doing it at the turn of the century. Continue reading Jack Johnson: Boxer, Bullfighter, Badass

Mike Tyson: Quotes of Wisdom And Wonderment

On his opponents…

Mike Tyson

Frank Bruno: “How dare these boxers challenge me with their primitive skills? It makes me angry. They’re just as good as dead.”

Tyrell Biggs: “I could have knocked him out in the third round but I wanted to do it slowly, so he would remember this night for a long time.”

Lennox Lewis: “I’m coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I’m just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!”

“It’s ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm.”

Continue reading Mike Tyson: Quotes of Wisdom And Wonderment

Robert Downey Jr’s Kung Fu Redemption

From the May 2010 issue of Men’s Journal…

Robert Downey Jr. in Wing Chun pose

“Wing Chun is all about guarding your center line,” Downey tells me, talking about the place where the touchy-feely art of Wing Chun kung fu meets philosophy of life. “Don’t fight force with force; use to hands at the same time; concentrate on your own thing; and after you have that dialed in, effect the balance, look for openings, look for arms to be crossed.”

So that’s the secret to his newfound prosperity?

“Oh, yeah, dude,” says Downey. Continue reading Robert Downey Jr’s Kung Fu Redemption

Seagal Under Siege by Disgruntled Sex Slave Kayden Nguyen

Action movie star Steven Seagal found himself Under Siege this week by a former personal assistant, who filed a lawsuit alleging sexual harassment, assault and other crimes in a California court.

Kayden Nguyen

According to Kayden Nguyen, a 23 year old former model, Seagal is A Dangerous Man who lured her in using Craigslist, ostensibly for a position as his Executive Assistant. Only after traveling with Seagal’s entourage to a secluded Louisiana estate, did Nguyen learn her true intended role: to assist the star of “Lawman” with his unquenchable Fire Down Below. Continue reading Seagal Under Siege by Disgruntled Sex Slave Kayden Nguyen

Chuck Norris Gets His Facts Right?

Did you know?

In 1982, Chuck Norris was choked out by the famous Gracie Jujitsu family. A decade later, everybody started copying him. We now know this phenomenon as the UFC. (pg. 57)
 

On the set of “Walker, Texas Ranger,” Chuck Norris once took a live rattlesnake by surprise. Then he set it down on the ground, and grabbed it again. The director fleed the scene in terror. (pg. 2)

Chuck Norris is half Irish, and half leg. (pg. 20)

In the interest of full disclosure: I owe Chuck Norris a favor. It was by introducing his “facts” to the mainstream audience back in 2006, that I first established this blog as a premier source for martial arts humor, news, fact and opinion. As payback, he has kindly allowed me to review his latest book, Continue reading Chuck Norris Gets His Facts Right?

Free Self-Defense Lessons From Jerry Springer

Jerry Springer

Years before The Ultimate Fighter and pay-per-view MMA specials, talk-show host Jerry Springer pioneered “reality” fighting entertainment.

While Jerry Springer’s talk show environment is obviously somewhat contrived, his guests’ fighting technique is in other respects spontaneous and natural. So how do the lessons taught in the average martial arts dojo compare to combat performances on Jerry Springer?

Dojo Fantasy: There are no rules in a real fight.
Jerry Springer Reality: Continue reading Free Self-Defense Lessons From Jerry Springer

Mad Libs With Jackie Chan And The Yellow Press

Last week, action movie star Jackie Chan gave a controversial speech to Chinese business leaders. What remarks caused such an uproar?

According to Associated Press reporter Min Lee, Jackie is “confused” about the value of “freedom” for his fellow Chinese people, and suggests that perhaps they should instead be “controlled”.

Technically, Jackie Chan never said any of this at the Boao Forum; his speech was not given in English. Thus, English-language reporters have the right–and responsibility–to reinterpret his words into an analogous cultural context.

What do you think after reading this speech excerpt? Continue reading Mad Libs With Jackie Chan And The Yellow Press

Analyzing The James T. Kirk Fighting Method

Captain James T. Kirk vs. Gorn

In the year 2266, captain and crew of the USS Enterprise embarked upon a thrilling mission, to make out with sexy female aliens. After encountering significant resistance from angry male aliens, Captain James T. Kirk developed a unique hand-to-hand fighting method.

With trademark moves such as the flying flop-kick, Judo chop and double-fisted hammer attack, Kirk triumphed over his scaly, bug-like adversaries. But will his method work for you? Read our analysis to find out. Continue reading Analyzing The James T. Kirk Fighting Method