It is not truly a paradox, only a misconception. And not all white belts are dangerous, obviously. But those that are, if only on the mat, are so for the following reasons.

Their goal is always to win. They don’t yet understand the difference between trying to win, and trying to cultivate the skills that one uses to win. Real fights are chaotic affairs, and chaos is not a proper breeding ground for skill development; thus, training in respectable martial arts consists of a series of games, first introducing support structures (e.g. rules and conventions), then dismantling them one step at a time.

The need for, or value in this approach is not obvious–and it is not always explained at the outset. So some white belts never appreciate the context of their practice. Others consider themselves above the “organized despair” of the “traditional mess,” and when a rule stands between them and a sparring victory, they break it without hesitation. The conventions and rules of training, they reason, are “unrealistic in a real fight.”

Sadly, annoyingly, some of these individuals mistake their impatience for martial prowess–and having checked off another box on their MMA resume, they quickly depart in pursuit of the next imaginary accomplishment. In the words of the seasoned sensei, “They’re someone else’s problem now.”

They have no self-awareness. The white belt fighter will take insane risks that any experienced player would avoid. The white belt fighter will compromise their own balance in an attempt to take yours. They will open up their guard in the hope of passing yours. They consistently expose themselves in the present, thereby expecting to prevail in the near future.

To the rest of us, watching a white belt fight is like observing a murder-suicide attempt.

Why are white belts so crazy? They don’t realize when they have made themselves vulnerable, so they are free to do so with carefree abandon. Over time, competing against higher ranked classmates provides a civilizing education.

They are honest attackers. While the previous two points address the folly of youth and inexperience, these qualities also have their benefits. The strength of the white belt is…strength. And speed. And courageous aggression, no matter how ill-founded. And unpredictability.

People who are more interested in attack than in self-preservation can make great practice partners (so long as minimum safety standards are met). One of the ironies of self-defense is that, unless a trainer can step outside their own mindset–and inhabit the mind and body of the amoral predator–their training does not have any real value.

The white belt can take you by surprise. They will do something so improbable, so highly inane, that you feel compelled to stop for criticism or laughter instead of taking advantage of the error.

And yet, surprising the opponent is never really an error, is it?

Because the white belt fighter is a tremendous resource, there is a tension between helping them mature in skill and temperament, and preserving them in an untamed state (in order to help others grow).

Black belts would do well to study the best practices of the white belt novice, and incorporate them into their own practice. Let the shodan follow all the rules, while the sandan playfully proclaim, “I can do bad all by myself!”

• The inaugural Crossing The Pond Martial Expo was held last weekend in West Seattle. This seminar brought together five six well-known and highly skilled instructors of martial arts and self-defense from across the United States and United Kingdom.
• Over the weekend, two one-hour workshops were held by instructors Al Peasland, Nicholas Yang, Kris Wilder, Rory Miller, Marc “Animal” MacYoung, and Iain “Tuna Fish Pizza” Abernethy.
• Approximately thirty-five people were in attendance. Among the students, at least one third appeared to be black belts and/or instructors themselves.
• Participants were open-minded, polite, and patient–especially with this author, who hadn’t done any Karate training since elementary school. Egoism, inappropriate competition, and input from self-declared “assistant instructors” was minimal. This is a credit to the affable seminar host, Kris Wilder, and the other teachers as well, who together set the right tone for the event.

Al Peasland on Crossing The Pond

• Each instructor taught from their own background, first introducing concepts and principles, and then a set of simple partner exercises to instill and explore their application. To the extent that the seminar had an overall theme, it was on applying traditional martial arts for real-world self-defense.
• Due to the diverse backgrounds of the attendees, and the limited amount of time available to each instructor, only basic techniques were taught. It was not a time for gathering new material, so much as reviewing old material from new perspectives and with new players.
• Whether by design or coincidence, most of the sections related to, and built upon each other. Still, I think the expo would have benefited from tighter coordination between the instructors, on which problems (e.g. developing power, interpreting kata, dealing with multiple attackers) they would individually or jointly address.
• Under my gold standard for martial arts seminars, each instructor spends a few minutes with each student: not only observing and correcting, but also interacting with them. This is how martial skills are most clearly transmitted, and by this measure the expo was a little disappointing. Sure, I was choked by Al, and Kris punched me a few times at my request, but I didn’t get twisted up by Nicholas, and Rory never hit me with a folding chair. Maybe next time.
• Under my platinum standard for martial arts seminars, the lectures and demonstrations are professionally filmed, and students have the option of buying the DVD afterwards, either for review or as a memento. A nice compromise would be to make some video clips available online, either on YouTube or a private website.

Iain Abernathy on Crossing The Pond

From my notes, here are a few of the central lessons taught by each instructor.

Iain Abernethy

1. Karate is not an art for fighting a single opponent (in the manner of a contest or a duel). It is an art for defending yourself against ruffians.
2. For self-defense, forget about inflicting pain and go for the knockout. If you are holding an opponent’s head, don’t grasp it so tightly that you support their skull and brain (thus preventing a knockout).
3. Stances are not meant to be held during an altercation. Move in and out of them as appropriate.

Kris Wilder

1. If a stranger threatens you, it is safe to assume they have fighting experience or some other hidden advantage, and they expect to win. Do not ignore the basis of their assumption.
2. Never enter a fair fight if you have any choice in the matter. If you can’t escape, then cheat early and often.
3. Spiraling force is more effective than linear force, and punching the body is less effective than punching the mind.

Nicholas Yang

1. Physical conditioning is extremely important. Learning techniques is a waste of time if you aren’t conditioned to apply them well.
2. A fight is like a dance: one person leads and another person follows. It is advantageous to lead.
3. In the real world, nobody ever leaves their limb hanging out after an attempt to strike. Make use of the time and the space created when they draw back.

Al Peasland

1. A fight is like a discussion. Someone else may start the conversation, but you should quickly turn it into a monologue.
2. There are two ways to deal with a threat. First, to appear even more dangerous yourself, such that they don’t want to take the risk of bothering you. Second, to immediately take a submissive pose, such that they become relaxed. Their relaxation will create an opportunity for surprise attack.
3. It is important to have a variety of working tools in your toolbox. It is also important to have one or two favorites, such as a rear naked choke, that you can apply successfully without thinking.

Rory Miller and Marc MacYoung

1. If a train is coming at you, there is no benefit in backing up. You have to actually step off the tracks.
2. Every violent assault is conducted according to a set of rules. It is a mistake to pretend there are no rules. The first goal is to identify the rules, and to know which are immutable, and which can be rewritten or broken.
3. The ideal movement does not just avoid damage, or inflict damage, or improve your position for follow-up action. It does all of these things simultaneously.

I am pleased to note that many of the expo teaching topics have already been discussed on this blog. Others will be reviewed in the near future.
In My Dojo, Cheaters And Failures Are Welcome
Defend Yourself the Taoist Way
Why Wing Chun Punches Never Miss
If Street Fights Were More Like Final Fight…
Xingyi And The Myth of The Defensive Martial Art
The Unwritten Rules of Mixed Martial Arts
9 Famous Artists’ Quotations on Martial Arts
I Challenge Kimbo Slice to a Fair Fight
Are You Fit Enough to Fight?
How to Discover The Purpose of Your Kata
Martial Arts of Addition and Subtraction
Movement, Martial Arts, and Man-in-the-Middle Attacks

Crossing The Pond Martial Expo 2010 will be repeated this weekend in Coventry, England. To register, visit their website. Whether you can make this one or not, I would be interested in hearing about the best and worst aspects of seminars that you have attended in the past.

Master Sensei Pacer likes to say that “nobody in the world moves like Sensei Pacer.”

Suzi Wong, Fytedancer

Sorry, Sensei Pacer, but I know someone who moves like Sensei Pacer! His name is Charles “Chaz” Wilson, and he is the inventor of Fytedance. In his own words,

Why can’t martial arts be sexy?…Fytedance is the ultimate holistic dance training system, and perhaps the ultimate martial art.

Charles predicts that Budo will replace monotheism within twenty years. Sorry, Charlie, but I know of a certain crew who isn’t going down without a fight!

* Thanks to Guro K of the Tulsa Arnis Club for introducing me to Sensei Pacer.

Once you’ve mastered the art, you can easily chop sandwiches and cars in half.

Remember: always use the trick boards that break easily.
Watch out for the boards that hit you back!

As a bright but naive child, I had no idea that the practice of tameshiwari, or breaking, was an instrument of martial arts fraud. I only knew that it looked cool, and that it required focus–or so my teacher said. After class, my Dad and I went to a local lumberyard to pick up some wood for our upcoming test.

“What kind of wood?” the salesman asked us. “I dunno…regular.”

Tip #1: Some woods are stronger than others. For an easier break, use pine wood. Avoid oak and particle board.

I don’t remember practicing my breaking skills in preparation for next week’s class. Why would I? I was led to believe that successful breaks were a product of kime: focus and determination, honed to perfection through the repetition of Karate kata. There was no apparent need for experience with actual wooden targets–and aside from Judo-chopping pencils with my schoolyard buddies, I had none.

When class arrived a few days later, we each took a partner, and held their board vertically in front of our chest, to be split with a single punch.

Tip #2: The board must be held firmly in place, or it will not break. Striking downwards at a stationary board is easier than striking forwards at an unstable board.

After two or three tries, everyone in class was able to break their boards. Everyone except myself, that is. Maybe this stunt was meant to instill confidence in Karate students, but it had the opposite effect on me. I wasn’t the youngest, or the smallest kid in class, but nevertheless I was a complete failure at breaking. Sensei didn’t offer any useful advice, as I recall.

At the time, I was ashamed of my performance. When I quit Karate a few months later, it was in part due to this terrible experience. I wasn’t yet old or wise enough to understand that my failure was, as much as anything else, a failure to cheat.

Tip #3: Pine is weaker and easier to split when dry and brittle. Cook your boards in the oven before striking them. Seriously.

It was Bruce Lee who rekindled my interest in martial arts, a few years later. Bruce Lee didn’t bother much with breaking–”Boards don’t hit back,” he famously said in Enter The Dragon. Forget wood, or even concrete blocks: Bruce Lee broke people instead.

Following his lead, I put aside any remaining interest in tameshiwari, in favor of speed drills and punching bags. Thankfully I discovered through this training that, contrary to the assertions of a few cheap wooden planks, I was not completely inept at martial arts. But I still hadn’t realized that, in mainstream Karate at least, the fix was in.

Tip #4: When breaking multiple boards at once, use spacers to separate them. This makes your break much easier, but your audience probably won’t know the difference. An average adult can break 3-5 prepared boards this way, with no training whatsoever.

It was nearly a decade later, after watching a series of increasingly ridiculous martial arts demonstrations, that I finally understood why I had failed in kiddie Karate.

In the first show, I saw a frightened wooden board split itself, a quarter-second before the supposed Taekwondo master actually kicked it!

In the second show, I watched a tiny first-grader and Hapkido student punch through her boards with an ease bordering on nonchalance. Surely these were not the same boards that I, at nearly twice her size, couldn’t conquer?

The final shocking episode occurred during the setup for a performance. An assistant accidentally dropped one of his boards on the ground. It fell three feet, landed flat…and broke in half.

Tip #5: Make your own “rebrakeable boards”. Secretly break all your boards before the demonstration, then tape or glue them together again for the big show. It’s pathetic, but it works.

After seeing this, I lost all my respect for breaking demonstrations. Folks, you have to assume the game is rigged unless and until proven otherwise.

Kudos to those martial artists that play fair, using materials without any hidden or prepared defects, and circulating them through the audience for inspection. They deserve some credit. But lest anyone forget, ability to hit a stationary target is a poor representation of combat skill, or self-defense skill, or physical and mental balance, or any other significant benefit that one would normally expect from martial arts mastery.

In other words, it is a dubious performance even when the materials are genuine. When they are not, it is an absurdity. Call me when boards start hitting back.

In a recent episode of their hit Showtime series, stage magicians Penn Jilette and Raymond Teller warn viewers away from the universally fraudulent field of martial arts. Now a real expert martial artist rescues us from their half-baked debunkings.

For their own convenience, Penn and Teller divide the world of martial arts into three categories: traditional, mystical, and murderous. During the show, they interview and mock one representative from each category:

• Mike Reeves, of Powerhouse Karate, in Apopka, Florida
• Dena Saxer, of Mantak Chia‘s Universal Healing Tao in Los Angeles, CA
• Damian Ross, of The Self Defense Company, in Saddle River, NJ

To support their otherwise meritless position, Penn and Teller rely on Marc MacYoung of No-Nonsense Self Defense. Although MacYoung is presented as a skeptical outsider here, he is actually the best known of these four, and is highly regarded within the martial arts community.

Having introduced the litigants, let us now review the case. Assistance is provided by a handy Truth-o-Meter, which I borrowed from the St. Petersburg Times.

While facing a mugger with a gun, Penn and Teller say:

If we had invested in martial arts training, we could try to go all Bruce Lee on their asses. But a few years ago, we did the arithmetic, and we figured that Karate lessons–even kids’ Karate lessons–would cost us a grand or more a year, for each of us. And the hours we spent in class, and driving to the dojo, and practicing and sweating and bowing and Fuck that! We have a better, cheaper, and less risky self-defense system. [Penn hands over his wallet and watch.]

Throughout the episode, Penn Jilette uses the terms “martial arts” and “self-defense” interchangeably, despite the fact that his own sources (Ross and MacYoung) insist otherwise. Self-defense is one of many possible benefits of martial arts training; performance varies with the student and the school.

Exercise is another benefit. According to our 2009 survey, average monthly martial arts tuition is around 80 dollars per month: this is comparable to a standard health club membership, if you include a short monthly coaching session with a personal trainer.

Penn Jilette advises that obedience is a better self-defense solution. This may be true in the case of a simple mugging, and most martial arts instructors would agree. As for dealing with the threat of rape or violent assault…don’t ask a six-foot-six, 270 pound Hollywood millionaire.

When outlining the content of the show, Penn Jillette says:

What we won’t be seeing much of are headlines like these: “Purse Snatcher Stopped by Passing Dojo Student”, “Rapist Thwarted by Black Belt Woman,” et cetera. Sure these stories exist, they must, but with all the people taking all these martial arts classes, shouldn’t we see these headlines all the time?…None of us could remember [seeing] a story like this in the news; when it happened, wouldn’t every dojo send out a press release?

As a former columnist for PC Magazine, Penn ought to know how and why these headlines appear, and why they do not appear more often: an exceptional sequence of events is required. First, a crime must be committed against someone who “knows” martial arts well enough to apply them under pressure (but not well enough to actually prevent or avoid the crime). Second, either the victim or a bystander must report this crime to the police. Third, the victim must specifically demonstrate or reference their “martial arts ability” (instead of attributions to luck or athleticism) for the report. Fourth, a media organization must observe this, and decide it is a newsworthy event.

When a martial artist stops a crime before it has even started, there is no headline. Martial arts help us to avoid becoming a victim, by teaching us to stop acting like a victim. As Geoff Thompson has explained, few criminals are interested in trying their luck against a hard target.

When a crime goes unreported, there is no headline. On those few occasions when I’ve been personally assaulted, I never bothered to call the police. A good friend of mine was attacked by a gang and stabbed in the gut, and he didn’t call the police either–as he recalled, it was just a light stabbing, and filing a report wasn’t worth the hassle. This happens all the time.

When a martial artist keeps their mouth shut, there is no headline. Most are taught to exercise discretion–either out of humility, or to avoid challenge matches and unwarranted scrutiny from law enforcement. As an innocent victim, nobody will demand to know why you hit back; as a self-identified martial artist, you may be expected to turn cartwheels around your attackers, and punished for anything less.

When the story isn’t compelling or advertiser-friendly, there is no headline. This last point warrants no further explanation.

Penn Jilette helpfully translates,

“Dojo” is Japanese for “storefront in strip mall”.

OK, this is mostly true.

Dena has been teaching the ancient Chinese practices of Chi Kung and Tai Chi ever since the powers of chi healed her osteoporosis. That’s what she said. We don’t know why she’s here on Showtime, rather than presenting her double-blind study on the curing of osteoarthritis through Chi Kung to the Journal of the American Medical Association.

Dena is not presenting to the AMA because this is a settled issue. The safety and efficacy of Qigong as an arthritis treatment is well established, in theory and practice. Common objections, that the theory is not acceptable and the observed results are unimportant, fail to impress this writer–or the many practitioners who have found relief through these practices.

Before providing his opinion of Qigong, Penn Jilette should first learn how to pronounce it correctly. If this is prohibitively difficult, he could instead browse the 3000 search results in PubMed (assuming that he can spell it correctly).

Dismissing the effectiveness of Tai Chi Chuan, Penn Jilette says:

And this is going to repel an attacker? Maybe if he’s afraid of French mimes.

After mislabeling martial arts as systems of self-defense, who have Penn and Teller selected to test the fighting capacity of Tai Chi? An elderly female theatre major, whose primary interest lies in the therapeutic aspects of the art. Sacrebleu!

If nothing else, this decision explains the title for their TV series. It is also a wasted opportunity; I would have paid good money to see Penn attempt a hands-on investigation of Chen Bing, or any of a hundred other masters who take fighting applications seriously.

Marc MacYoung explains the significance of belts in the martial arts,

It turns out there has never been a accepted standard for what a black belt means, or any other color belt for that matter. Simply put, martial arts is a business, and the belts are its primary product…For two or three thousand dollars, not including belt testing fees, equipment fees, and all these other hidden fees, you can get a black belt in one year, guaranteed.

This is standard practice in modern, commercial schools. It is far from universal, however. Note that of the four martial arts experts on this show, only one of them actually awards belts!

After learning that senior students not only assist in teaching, but also mop the floors and change the light bulbs in Mike Reeves’ dojo, Penn complains:

“Wait a second, that’s like paying your gym membership to scrub the showers. But this isn’t unique to Mike’s dojo. This is all dojos around the country…What’s the Japanese word for suckers?”

The word in question is giri, and it can be translated as “obligation”. Unlike colored belts, this practice does have a historical precedent. Giri generally includes, but is not limited to basic dojo maintenance duties.

The plain fact is that if students will not perform these simple tasks, they must pay for someone else to do it. Veteran students tend to give their dojo as much respect as their own home, and if sweeping the floor is not exactly an honor, it is hardly a punishment either.

Responding to Damian Ross’ bluster, that producing killer students makes him proud, Penn and Teller declare,

According to the legal definition of self-defense, ‘A person must use no more force than appears reasonably necessary in the circumstances.’ Otherwise Damian, your students are looking at manslaughter charges.

The standards for legally permissible self-defense vary by jurisdiction: city, state and country.

Revealing the secrets of board breaking, Penn Jilette states,

Now breaking even one board is damn near impossible if you whack the board [against the grain]. But if you turn it, you’re splitting it between the fibers. Still, even with soft pine, breaking a stack of five takes a hell of a whack, unless you put pencils, chopsticks, or some some separators between them. Now you’re just breaking one board after the other, separately.

Penn actually understates the widespread duplicity of Karate and Taekwondo breaking demonstrations! More on this subject in a future article here.

Watch the full episode of PENN & TELLER: BULLSHIT! “Martial Arts” online at MegaVideo (NSFW)
[YouTube version (also NSFW)]

In his parting cheap shots, Penn inquires,

What’s the point of all these crazy [Tai Chi] moves?

Dena responds,

They teach you to listen to your organs, and after awhile, your organs will talk to you…I’m not kidding.

??

After taking great care to present Dena as a faded fruitcake, Penn asks two other people whether they believe her wacky claims. Their answer, unsurprisingly, is no. But what do you think? Can organs really talk?

Are Penn and Teller out of their depth here? Or do you agree with their conclusion, that martial arts are bullshit?

While the new Karate Kid movie earned surprisingly positive reviews from major media outlets, some fans of the original 1984 version are disappointed…

Johnny Lawrence, Cobra-Kai

“Your Hands (Together)” by The New Pornographers
Featuring the Hybrid Movement performance team

Americans do not usually see themselves, when they are in the United States, as representatives of their country. They see themselves as individuals who are different from all other individuals, whether those others are Americans or foreigners. Americans may say they have no culture, since they often conceive of culture as an overlay of arbitrary customs to be found only in other countries. Individual Americans may think they chose their own values, rather than having had their values and the assumptions on which they are based imposed on them by the society in which they were born. If you ask them to tell you something about “American culture,” they may be unable to answer and they may even deny that there is an “American culture.”
(from Handbook for Foreign Students and Scholars)

Karate Informality

A few minutes prior to the start of class, karateka (students) enter through the front door, immediately bowing to the sensei (teacher) and/or the kamidana (dojo shrine). The karateka remove their shoes, and enter the changing room to don their training uniforms.

The uniform, or dogi, consists of white pants, white jacket, and a special belt (obi). The left side of the jacket should always be folded over the right side.

When properly dressed, the karateka sit quietly in a neat row, waiting for sensei to start the lesson. They sit in the seiza position, with legs folded under them, following dojo protocol.

Karate Individuality

Class begins with a group bow. Students then move a few steps apart, to execute a set of synchronized warm-up exercises. Everyone counts out loud together, in Japanese.

After warm-ups, the students execute their katas in unison. Those who move too quickly, or too slowly, or who kiai (shout) at the wrong time are reprimanded for their lack of “focus” (kime).

Following kata practice, sensei demonstrates bunkai: self-defense applications for individual movements within the kata. The group is now broken into pairs, so that students can repeat the demonstration. Improvisation and creativity are generally discouraged in this portion of class.

Karate Equality

Near the end of class, intermediate and advanced students may spend time sparring together. When feasible, students of a similar rank will be paired together. This rank is made obvious by the specially colored belt they wear at all times. Popular colors include orange, green, brown and black.

When circumstances require it, students of unequal rank will spar together. Kohai (the junior student) is expected to lose to sempai (the senior student); otherwise, an “accidental” injury to kohai may occur.

Finally, class is over, and the students reassemble in a straight line on the mat, facing straight ahead. Seating is dictated by rank, with the senior practitioners at one end of the line. Thus, seating roughly matches the arrangement of student names posted on the wall for public viewing.

Class is closed with another group bow. Students should not raise their heads until indicated by sempai. After class, junior members may be held responsible for sweeping the mat, and cleaning other public areas of the dojo.

What do you think are American values? Are they, or should they be reflected in the structure and practice of American karate?